I have a confession to make...

 

My race is in 1 day, 20 hours, and 18 minutes...

 And this is what I have been thinking the last few days...

 Why did I set such high expectations for myself and my performance in this race? 

All week I have been telling myself that I should have just signed up for this race and ran it for fun. I didn't HAVE to set a huge goal for myself...finishing a half marathon is enough...heck, just completing the Heartland 39.3 series is something to be proud of. Could I go into Saturday's race and run just for fun?

Nope...my competitive spirit is why I enjoy running races. I like training my ass off...I like getting a PR...I like setting goals and reaching them (or sometimes not reaching them...but coming close) And I like setting crazy hard goals because...

What if I do run a 1:45 half-marathon on Saturday? What if Rock the Parkway is a totally different experience than it was last year. What if I walk away feeling more accomplished than ever?

So basically...this.

I can't decide if I am excited or scared out of my mind for Saturday's race. I know for a fact that I trained harder than I have ever trained before...I know that I am ready to do this. I know deep down that I can run a 1:45 half...but I also know...that sometimes bad runs happen. I know that sometimes things don't always turn out like you expect...and I do know that sometimes no matter how hard you train...it's just not in the cards. 

But I am choosing to go into this race with a positive mind-set and telling myself that I CAN do it...but I am also reminding myself (daily) that even if I don't finish in 1:45...it's okay, because I tried. I worked hard and gave it my all.

And if I don't run a 1:45 at Rock the Parkway this weekend...I still have 2 more races after that...and if it doesn't happen in those races...I will sign up for another and another...until I succeed... because that feeling of success when you accomplish a goal is addicting...and I want that...I want it so bad that I can taste it!